Yes I might be selfish but they should be the ones trying to work things out. How do I approach a conversation about this with him if there is any to be had.
What you want is sometimes something you should walk away from. A lot and for a long time. Stay far away from him. Drop your comment too. It was probably very hard for them to tell you. In both cases OP isn't responsible for "wrecking his marriage" which only concerns Vic and his wife and not OP, as she isn't part of their relationship. For that reason I find it hard to agree that her father doesn't 'owe' her any kind of common courtesy either, under the circumstances.